Have You Seen 'Em? ;; priv, Glimmerpelt & Honeypaw

Maybe he wasn’t supposed to, but Honeypaw found himself wandering the territory. Maybe he was just tired of being the leader’s kit, maybe he was just trying to unwind after such an eventful start to the season. In any case, he had found himself soaking in sunlight in between trying to catch enough prey to have an excuse for being out. As the heavy clouds moved to claim his little sunlit spot, he grumbled and stretched to return to being a good Clan cat, or something. As he strayed further from this spot, though, he smelled something… different.

Something not wholly unfamiliar, but still different. It smelled like a cat. Not a Clan cat though. It was almost surprising to him. Surely, any non-Clan cats had enough prey with newleaf having started, why risk coming onto Clan territory? Then again, he didn’t seem to understand much of what went on in other cats’ heads. With a silent growl, he lowered himself as he tried to find this intruder before they found him. If his nose hadn’t betrayed him, there was only one, but he’d still like to have the element of surprise on his side.

Then he saw him. Just… standing there. Looking out into the horizon, as if looking for something. It confused Honeypaw enough to make his head lift up from the grass and tilt in observation. “What are you doing on SunClan territory?,” he challenged from a short distance, unsheathing his claws just in case.

He’d nearly recoiled as the strange cat seemed to stare at him - why did this always happen when he met new cats? - but her words made him lean forward in curiosity. How odd that a cat he didn’t know knew of, not only the Clan, but Honeypaw himself. He examined this cat carefully, trying to place a name to her. His pelt reminded Honeypaw of his own, but he didn’t consider that an immediate hint. There were only so many colors a cat’s pelt could be. Maybe she was related to Beestar somehow? Wouldn’t someone have mentioned an estranged family member by now though? It wasn’t as if SunClan was immune to gossip.

“I am,” he responded firmly. “How do you know my mother? And why are you interested in SunClan’s camp?” He took a few steps forward, keeping his posture as composed as he could. Possibilities rushed through his head with all the reasons - both nefarious and mundane - this cat could have for asking and even knowing some of these things. Not particularly helpful, but he couldn’t let his guard down.

“Just who are you?”

“Why have I never heard of you?” The question came without thinking, curiosity driving him before thought could keep up. He winced slightly after the words left his mouth, a good reminder to carefully think through what he said next, analyzing the former warrior as best he could. Honeypaw’s tail curled at Glimmerpelt’s praise, pleased with the acknowledgement even if he didn’t really feel like the former warrior could really get a sense for his skill.

He reflected on the question a bit. “No, we haven’t,” he answered truthfully once he had decided the question was innocent enough and didn’t betray any sort of SunClan security. Perhaps this was why they weren’t meant to deal with outsiders, it was a lot of effort trying to make sure they didn’t learn anything potentially dangerous for the Clan. No wonder he’d become so distrusting already. “I’d like to say that we’ll be getting them soon, but I can never be sure. Beestar’s been busy lately, I think.”

He left a slight pause, putting some more thought into his words. “If you only saw me at that age, how do you know which kit I am?” He thought, of course, that he and his siblings looked different enough to be easily distinguished. Even between he and Wheatpaw, they’d rarely get mistaken for each other. Still, for a warrior who hadn’t seen him for so long, he seemed confident in Honeypaw’s identity. There were more important questions too, of course, curiosity had a vice on his thoughts, but he would start with a smaller, easier question. One perhaps less interrogative.

The words took a few moments to toss themselves about in Honeypaw’s mind. His… sire? As in, a whole other parent? He hadn’t thought about the subject much since he was a kit, the code stated that a queen needn’t disclose that information, he thought he was over being the kit of a single mother. That mother was the leader, after all. Glimmerpelt’s words left Honeypaw feeling like his world was spinning. For once his mouth remained shut, void of any snarky or distrustful responses, void of a usual emotional outburst. He stared, like just looking would give him answers, until shock brought him to a sitting position.

“I don’t… understand,” he finally managed the few simple words out of his throat. They built up traction for the others, reminding his mind and mouth on how speech worked. “Why did you leave us? Why are you here now?” He was stunned, his heart racing through emotions, trying to settle on just one. Was he outraged? Hurt? Both? Was he simply shocked? Just who would he even be mad at? Did this explain things? There were too many questions now, at a time in which he had already thought he had enough. He watched Glimmerpelt with wide eyes. Desperate for her response to tell him how to feel about the predicament, the fear of chasing off a new chance at war with the fear of being hurt.

He felt like the world was spinning. It might just be, given the bias StarClan has shown him thus far in his short life. Sparrowkit, the walk, leaving...? Honeypaw turned his gaze to Glimmerpelt. “Why won't you stay? When are you leaving again?” As the questions rolled off his tongue, a realization struck and he cast his gaze back to the ground. He would've understood had Glimmerpelt not mentioned Beestar not being a factor in the decision, but Honeypaw and his siblings were alive right now. The pressure was a lot, he couldn't help but feel like the return of a cat he'd never known would make all their lives better somehow.

He took a deep breath, eyes still fixated on small blades of grass by his paws. “Will I ever see you again?” His voice was silent, and his ears burned with embarrassment. He felt silly asking it, but there was so much he wanted to know and this was such a big shift in his reality - was he just going to be left like this? Left with questions and dreams and hopes all to be ignored?