SunClan
don't call me nice; i'm gonna eat your heart out
Posts: 150
Pronouns: he/him
Played By: rubykh
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Post by Turtlefang on Jul 17, 2022 23:26:05 GMT -6
As Daisyfire approached, a blend of emotions overtook Turtlefang's concealed expression, torn between smug satisfaction at having another warrior serve him.. and pure, unadulterated anxiety at the thought of having such a personal interaction. If there was one perk to having been drenched, it kept the fur on his neck from standing up once the first swipe of a tongue touched his back. On instinct, his capable paw immediately flexed over his snout, claws sliding out unconsciously as if to find something to grip. He had the foresight to retract before he actually wound up scratching into his face, but the initial itch was not given reprieve- Daisyfire was delivering exactly what he'd asked and consented to, and he was wildly uncomfortable with it all the same.
Carefully, quietly, he slid from his coverage to allow his paws the freedom to dig tensely at the stone, making soft little scritching sounds as he held himself stiff and still, no matter how badly he wanted to jolt up. It wasn't like it hurt- In actuality, every time he braced himself for the touch nearing his scratches, she was careful not to edge up on them, sparing him any extra suffering. But in a roundabout way, the caution just made it worse. It didn't match the pain she'd already inflicted, made him more confused than he already was. Turtlefang was so busy thinking and enduring and scraping his claws that the sound of the other cat's voice became more background noise than anything else. But for courtesy's sake, he should probably say something. What would work? "Stop talking."Yeah, that seemed fine.
Although it was nice to have a chance to relax his face, free from an active audience, having Daisyfire looming behind him didn't make the experience all that easier to handle, not with having to wait in anticipation for wherever he'd dry next. It was worse not to see, not to be able to brace for it. But at least it was going by efficiently. At least he wasn't squirming around like a kit, in spite of his predominant impulses. "I don't know. What you want me to say," Turtlefang mumbled the words out, stilted with distraction as he bore the burden of the Moonclan warrior's diligence along his back, making his spine tingle in miniature bursts when she nosed too close to his vertebrae. They cascaded down his nervous system, triggered quick, lurching twitches of his tail on the offbeat of each stroke. "I'm. Trying to focus. For you. You're welcome."
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MoonClan
The thing no one tells you about being dead is that it’s boring
Posts: 114
Pronouns: She/He
Played By: VioCrow
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Post by Daisyfire on Jul 18, 2022 0:44:19 GMT -6
*＊✿❀ Daisyfire ❀✿＊* Her ears twitched with irritability, and she had half a mind to slide her tongue over one of the cuts - they did need to be cleaned sooner rather than later, what if they got infected? - but she settled for simply stopping and sitting back, leaning just a little bit away from Turtlefang. “You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?” She huffed and rolled her eyes. Focusing? On what? Clearly not what she was saying, but for it to be for her- oh. After having agreed to it, he was upset about the turn of events? Just like the fight. Another irritated twitch made Daisyfire wonder if his ears could get sore from doing that. “Y’know,” he sighed, “if it’s that uncomfortable for you, I can just stop. You’ll get dry eventually without enduring my touch.” She said the words with just a hint of venom, a hint more than she’d intended. That’s kind of embarrassing, what’s up with that? He doesn’t even like you, apparently, get over it! She scratched at the rocks by her claws, as if they might’ve had something to do with her slip in tone. “You probably shouldn’t even be here now, it’s probably not that bad but I’d think heading to your medicine cat would be the smart idea.” Ah, but the panic and the flawed balance that had led them here to begin with. “… I guess you’re still in pretty rough condition, then. … I can’t believe you’ve got me worried about you.” The last sentence brought a wry smile to his face, with a gentle laugh accompanying it. “Well, I shouldn’t complain. Somehow, you’re madder than I am about that.” |
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SunClan
don't call me nice; i'm gonna eat your heart out
Posts: 150
Pronouns: he/him
Played By: rubykh
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Post by Turtlefang on Jul 18, 2022 1:42:06 GMT -6
"I can be wherever I like," He was swift to retort, sitting up on his own to follow the retreat of the other's presence without remembering the state of his back- The flex of his muscle distorted the scratches, sending a bolt of pain deeper into the flesh beneath. Hissing softly, he twisted his body again to side-eye Daisyfire where he relaid himself back out, lessening the strain on his injuries. Almost groggy from the moderation he'd displayed today, Turtlefang's voice came out more confused than annoyed for once in the past few exchanges. "What, are you done?"
Once more, there was a magnanimous dissonance between all the words going in his ears and the sheer amount of ignorance passing back out his mouth, seemingly content to avoid any real questioning for the time being. It wasn't out of character. After all, if Daisyfire should've learned anything from this encounter, it'd be that the Sunclan warrior was entirely unreliable at the most inopportune times, deflecting what made him feel uneasy and lashing out at what pushed any further. However... for this particular instance, there was a genuine lack of malice at the core of his low responsiveness. It shone in the tired glean of his half-hearted glare, now having lost the focus from before he'd called her over. Now, he was worn out. What a transformation he must have taken, to have gone from on top of the world to the snappy bundle of slog he was now. Starclan just has that effect. Now I'm melting like a demon, and there's nowhere for me to go.
Turtlefang's tail, having calmed down during their break, curled idly over his back leg, a cradling sort of gesture while he squinted irritably back at the other tom. "Don't stop on account of me. I'm doing my best. It's not like I do this every day, so excuse me if I'm..." He faltered for a moment, searching for the right word, before settling with a twinge of fluster to his now-grimace. "..sensitive. Anyway," He recovered from his hesitance, thumping his chin on the ground dramatically. "However I feel doesn't matter. You owe it to me to take responsibility for your actions. I meant it when I said I'd keep my claws away, so I don't know why you had to try and kill me. Own up to your mistakes, Mr. Warrior's Honor."
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MoonClan
The thing no one tells you about being dead is that it’s boring
Posts: 114
Pronouns: She/He
Played By: VioCrow
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Post by Daisyfire on Jul 18, 2022 3:59:14 GMT -6
*＊✿❀ Daisyfire ❀✿＊* She scoffed. “I didn’t do it on purpose - if you die from these wounds I’ll never forgive you, but I’ll also come visit every night to tease you for it. I just don’t know why you had to go and start all this in the first place.” Deciding that, if he wasn’t going to give her a straight answer anyway, she didn’t want to hear him talk, she returned dutifully to the task before her. Methodical strokes of her tongue, keeping shy of the wound in question, still. Instead of focusing on whatever nonsense Turtlefang was playing at, Daisyfire instead decided to focus on the fur in front of him. A shorter muzzle than most cats meant that the fur was that much closer to his eyes and therefore that much more detail was apparent to her. Not that it leant any current insight - she was instead distracted by his tricolored fur. Like StarClan had picked so precisely where every bit of orange and brown would grace the dark abyss of Turtlefang’s pelt. Not like most other torties, no his colors didn’t quite mix like most. Each spot seemed to hold firm its own position, like it was fated to be there and proud. Just like him.She hissed at the thought, and continued her task, slowly moving down his back as the upper parts began to dry. He might as well jump in the river, at this rate he’ll smell entirely of me. The thought was a little frightening, but a little amusing all the same. She hummed in the humor, ignoring Turtlefang’s antics for now. After all, he’d asked her to stop talking - she was doing simply that. Following the guides of his markings, though, repeatedly brought her attention to the bright red scratches. He sighed, and turned vaguely to Turtlefang’s head though he knew he couldn’t see him. “Just so we’re clear, did you want me to clean the scratches too?” |
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SunClan
don't call me nice; i'm gonna eat your heart out
Posts: 150
Pronouns: he/him
Played By: rubykh
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Post by Turtlefang on Jul 18, 2022 5:10:05 GMT -6
Before he knew it, Daisyfire had advanced on him again. Once more, with permission, but still somehow intimidating despite the fact. How's this scarier than when he lunged at me? With what he'd hoped was a subtle shudder, Turtlefang shut his eyes and let it happen, tried to disassociate the feeling of the touch with knowing who was at the other end of it. Normally, fading out like that came easy to him. So easily that he could do it without even trying at times, which could be a little alarming, but in a position of having to practice stoicism and battle hardiness, a pawful or two of hollow space in your brain could take you a long way. It made dealing with things easier. Unfortunately, his brain didn't seem to deem another cat's tongue as a large enough threat to warrant a bit of mental distance. He'd have to handle it on his own. Having the breather in between sessions hadn't fixed everything, but it'd given him enough of a cooldown so that he wasn't grating his claws across the stone anymore. Instead, the stiffness of his body held most of the tension without needing to spill over into anxious fidgeting. To a point, maybe requesting silence had helped after all- another wish he hadn't expected to be granted, but one that was less of a reminder that someone was standing so close, speaking almost directly into his ear. With nothing but the gentle lap of water from the pond ( acting so innocent, huh?), Turtlefang almost. A new request broke the stagnant atmosphere, fracturing the calm before it could make a home in him. Before mistakes were made. Being a warrior, Turtlefang was no stranger to pain, be it physical or emotional. He'd suffered far worse injury than the one facing him today, but in that pocket of unguarded honesty before the bubble burst, he found a part of him afraid. Stupidly. Not for the pain, no, but. "Yeah. If you want to." Then, in a tone broaching timid, he spoke a more hesitant thought. "Do you think it'll scar?"
It was a vain question, and he hated that he cared at all. But looking at Daisyfire, he hadn't seen any permanent marks on him. He'd never seen them on many of his clanmates, either, having gone through a period of relative inactivity outside of the occasional third party attack. Somehow, the thought of breaking his solid coat, becoming forever altered even in some small way, was a deep disturbance to him. It felt like just the kind of punishment he'd receive for his time here- an eternal reminder of what happened with a Moonclan cat. Of his own hubris. Considering he might bear evidence of this encounter, and in such a visible place, was upsetting. Turtlefang hadn't been able to see for himself yet, not with the angle he'd have to crane his neck to look, and he already dreaded having to explain himself to Vinedapple. But he'd go through all that and more if he could grow his fur back in and forget it'd ever happened.
From where he lay, he stared down at the pond's angled surface, and watched the image of him and Daisyfire perching here together as one might peek through a rotting log. He wondered who else might be seeing them like that from the other side, and what it'd mean if the whole world could trace its way back to this moment should he stay branded by it like cardinal sin.
More than anything, he felt a deep shame.
Turtlefang turned his gaze elsewhere.
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MoonClan
The thing no one tells you about being dead is that it’s boring
Posts: 114
Pronouns: She/He
Played By: VioCrow
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Post by Daisyfire on Jul 18, 2022 18:41:54 GMT -6
*＊✿❀ Daisyfire ❀✿＊* His answer surprised her, but not more than his question. She had half expected for him to continue to pretend to be high and mighty about her duty to clean up his wounds, or to mock her for wanting to taste SunClan blood or whatever. Not like it’d be a first. Instead, he’d sidestepped her expectations and given such a non-committal, nonchalant answer about it that she almost worried about how he was feeling. Then he asked his question. “If it doesn’t get infected, I’m sure it’ll heal normally. It’s not that deep or anything, and your back is hardier than your stomach. I’ve definitely had worse on my stomach, and you can’t even tell now,” Daisyfire answered honestly, his mind drifting to the battles that had ended in MoonClan’s territory being lost to SunClan. Battles that had left them without a deputy for far too long. A brief moment with a thought that flickered on hesitantly on like the older lights in her twoleg home - would Pansystar refuse the demands made at the Gathering, harboring hate that surely came from having her sibling lost at the claws of SunClan? A quick insight of her own stubbornness. That dedication to hatred could be dangerous for others that a cat actually cared about. His fur rippled with uneasiness as he tried to shake the thought from his mind. “… Anyway. Speaking of infections, I’ll go ahead and clean the wound so our luck doesn’t land you a permanent place in your medicine cat’s den. If you need a break, just let me know and I’ll stop until you’re ready to go again.” With that, she resumed her dedicated drying licks, not wanting to start off with what would certainly be more painful. Having gotten an orange patch of fur to be quite dry, she delicately swiped her tongue over the injury. Careful not to move too quickly or too harshly, and careful not to disrupt any areas that seemed like they might already be trying to scab over. This was all meant to promote it healing entirely, after all. |
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SunClan
don't call me nice; i'm gonna eat your heart out
Posts: 150
Pronouns: he/him
Played By: rubykh
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Post by Turtlefang on Jul 18, 2022 21:29:37 GMT -6
"I see." It wasn't often someone as distrustful as Turtlefang would elect to believe another cat so easily; After all, it'd suit Daisyfire's best interests to keep him pacified and unaware of his condition, having been the one to cause it. Wouldn't want me running off to Sunclan to talk all about how a Moonclan warrior ambushed me on neutral ground. It was the obvious rationale, and he'd just as easily lie in her paws to prevent the same consequences. Yet... be it desperation or pride, he didn't have the heart to push it. Didn't want to think about anything but the best outcome, for once.
Well. Not without a little bit of prodding, at least. Who was he if not inflammatory? With very bad timing for a cat about to have his scratches tended to, Turtlefang regained a bit of smarminess- a sign of recovery? "I believe you. I doubt you could actually incapacitate me if you even wanted to." Losing in such an embarrassing way had dealt a severe blow to his psyche, but as more time passed and Daisyfire continued to take care of him, he seemed to grow more aware of his security under the circumstances. After all, what could she really do from here on out? Claw him? Throw him in the pool again? As far as things had been pushed, they could be pushed no longer. Maybe, in a roundabout way, this is a win for me after all?
..Winning still didn't make the touching better. Turtlefang resumed his obedience, laying idly by for cooperation, and waited. Aside from the tightening of his back where he anticipated the scratches coming back to sting him, he sought relaxation through counting the seconds by, letting his attention wander about.
Not for the first time since this had all started, he was struck with the sudden awareness of Daisyfire once again. Just slightly different, this time. The other's presence had been a constant throughout their time at the pond, had been hovering around him like an annoying fly since he'd had the misfortune of stumbling into her at the river. Things had been going comfortably up until that barrier had broken, until everything was ruined with the attack on the Moonpond and all the rest spilled out like a landslide to crush him to a pulp. Words of wanting, words of liking, words of knowing. Words unfamiliar to him, who'd locked them away for the betterment of those around him.
No, that wasn't right. For myself.
Ironically, Daisyfire had never been more unlikable since he had to go and talk about how much he liked Turtlefang. It'd put a much more palpable tension between them, that sort of brutal, cramped honesty which forced the tortie to examine his own feelings, forced him to lay down his own act because someone couldn't stay a good deputy and play along. Yet, after being fished out of the pool like dead weight and dropped here to be dried, carefully and quietly, some of that tension had dissolved. Or perhaps it'd merely taken a new form, manifesting in the way her touch had begun to dominate the forefront of his senses, but not exactly in the same overwhelming panic as before so much as it was. Something.
Turtlefang's whiskers twitched self-consciously. He busied himself with beginning to groom his forelegs and lower chest, finally motivated to do something other than lie passively beneath the other.
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MoonClan
The thing no one tells you about being dead is that it’s boring
Posts: 114
Pronouns: She/He
Played By: VioCrow
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Post by Daisyfire on Jul 18, 2022 22:10:56 GMT -6
*＊✿❀ Daisyfire ❀✿＊* She raised her paw instinctively, ready to take a playfully annoyed swipe at his ear for the comment, before remembering the conditions established earlier. She put her paw down. “Warriors bigger than you have made the mistake of thinking that, but I'll let you believe whatever it is you need to believe to get you through this harrowing experience.” She let the venom slip with her last few words, feeling none too inclined to disguise the emotion. If he thought that she was just going to fawn over him because of all this, he was entirely wrong. Maybe not entirely, but wrong enough. Just because Daisyfire liked a cat didn't mean they got to push him around. MoonClan cats seemed to have that figured out, Turtlefang would just have to take his eyes off himself long enough to see reality. She imagined, vaguely, that in Turtlefang's mind she was just looming over him with outrageously sharp fangs, ready to take a bite out of him at any second. She couldn't help but giggle at the thought, needing to pause briefly from the drying to make sure she didn't spiral on that humorous idea. It was over as quickly as it came, and he returned to his task with a somewhat renewed energy - especially having seen Turtlefang finally remember that his own tongue worked. I guess he only knows how to use it to be snippy.While Daisyfire had half a mind to make some sort of comment about Turtlefang's additions to the drying project they were on, she kept them to herself. Last thing she needed was for him to get all sulky about it again and refuse to be of any help at all. He didn't flinch too much as she cleaned his wounds, though, so she decided to get that over with as quickly as possible, swiping her tongue quickly but gently over the scratches that ran in opposition of his spine. In a weird way, it felt nice. Not that she liked cleaning up a wound, no cat particularly enjoyed that, but it was nice that no matter what Turtlefang might say, he trusted her enough to do this instead of making a swift kill of him while he was vulnerable. Especially nice that he entrusted her with the sensitive flesh a wound left. It gave her a sense of contentment she didn't really understand, only aided by his assistance in the matter. Cooperating was one thing, making it easier was another entirely. A purr rumbled through her throat and chest as she dwelt on the thoughts of trust and companionship, comfortable and casual in a way that she didn't even notice. |
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SunClan
don't call me nice; i'm gonna eat your heart out
Posts: 150
Pronouns: he/him
Played By: rubykh
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Post by Turtlefang on Jul 19, 2022 3:38:39 GMT -6
Safe out of sight, Turtlefang rolled his eyes with Daisyfire's response, having half the mind to mouth after him with the immaturity of a disgruntled kit. For now, though, he stayed on the task at hand. After all, he'd only requested service with his back, and the idea of having her anywhere closer to his vitals was out of the question. In long, dragging strokes, he finished up one foreleg before switching over to the other, noticing in pleasant surprise that his paw had regained a bit of mobility at this point. As he began to wash out his other leg, he practiced shaking it out, gently working his blood flow into the pad where feeling gradually restored. At least, no matter the fate of his scratches, the walk home could be an independent pursuit. Halfway back to his chest for another once-over, a flinch betrayed him when pressure met the raw edges of his back wounds, stinging like a good dozen bees while they were cleaned and reaggravated in the process. Swallowing another growl, Turtlefang paused his own efforts to focus on bracing through the worst part- almost out of the woods, now. At the very least, Daisyfire wasn't making it torturous on him, not like he honestly may have done in turn. Or, with that context in mind, he supposed he probably wouldn't be able to commit to cruelty, not to that extent. What a shame. What a weakling you've made out of me.Or, so he thought, until the vibration of a purr tickled the edge of his pelt. Immediately twisting his head around, he got his first real look at her since they'd begun this little endeavor. Eyed the strange expression on her face, and remembered much too vividly the wide, violet stare of Daisyfire's captured attention right before things had fallen apart, one of a kind and his for the keeping. So different from the stiff smiles, spilling over with artificiality like the too-bright flowers adorning the gardens of two-legs and their impractical, unnatural territories. He looked different, right now, in a way that almost felt like nobody else was supposed to see. At peace, somehow, on this stone island where boundaries blurred and two cats could challenge the night sky until the stars streaked down.
Unbearably at peace, and it tore something already gaping in Turtlefang's heart to know it.
"Hmm," He hummed, a soft sound before he broke louder with the imploring of his most surface-level thoughts. He asked, even though he feared he might already know the answer. "What's got you so happy?"
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MoonClan
The thing no one tells you about being dead is that it’s boring
Posts: 114
Pronouns: She/He
Played By: VioCrow
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Post by Daisyfire on Jul 19, 2022 4:21:44 GMT -6
*＊✿❀ Daisyfire ❀✿＊* She leaned away from his back as Turtlefang asked his question, only then noticing that he’d turned to look at her. Happy? The laugh?- oh. The purring. She’d hardly noticed, and yet now her ears burned with the embarrassment of being caught once more being so… casual. Not that she could commit to the feeling. Turtlefang was equally responsible for the comfortable feeling that had settled over the Moonpond when it had previously been so tense. If there’s a purpose to all of this, I’d like to know right now instead of being a feather on a string for the gods’ amusement.“Am I not allowed to be happy?,” he asked, taking a brief moment to groom his ears to lower their temperature. He paused briefly. “Well, if you must know, I guess I just… got comfortable. I keep thinking you’ll take off or something, but here we are. Still here. It’s just… peaceful, I guess. That feels weird to say, but that’s the only way I know how to describe it.”She stretched and repositioned herself, adjusting the placement of her limbs so that nothing would be under pressure for too long. It made the break system that she assumed was there more convenient, an opportunity for them both to make the most of the situation and cope with their respective issues. With a quick flick of her tail, she let the bones pop within it before settling down again. “It’s nice,” he finally added simply. “I know it’s uncomfortable and even painful for you, just a little, but… I guess I’m just happy you haven’t run off. That you’d let me help you like this. That’s the part that’s nice.” She was already hearing ways Turtlefang might contort her words, so she kept her gaze just a little distant. Still, it didn’t keep the gentle smile off her muzzle. Some things were difficult to beat, and the feeling of being trusted? That was one of them, as she was discovering. |
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SunClan
don't call me nice; i'm gonna eat your heart out
Posts: 150
Pronouns: he/him
Played By: rubykh
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Post by Turtlefang on Jul 19, 2022 5:29:02 GMT -6
Sensing the lull in their process, Turtlefang readjusted as well- sitting up on both paws now, cringing only slightly with the same muscle pain that'd condemned him to the ground prior. It was weaker now, nonetheless, allowing him to regain his height as he angle partially to look at the tom behind him more easily. Daisyfire was smiling again, that telling kind of smile that made the air feel just that thicker to breathe in. His sentiments were troublesome to hear, same as earlier, and Turtlefang's own opinion hadn't shifted. His gaze slid away with a measured blankness.
"You'll find I don't startle easily," He pawed his tail closer, lifting his foot after doing so to check the wetness that'd come away. "And should I do so anyway, I would never back down. No matter what. Cowardice has never been one of my vices." A neutral answer addressing the only part of the conversation that wouldn't brand him a traitor. He curled around himself to begin working his tail while his assistant rested, moving counter to the length of it in short, ruffling licks to fluff it for air flow. Somewhere around the halfway point, Turtlefang spoke again, like an afterthought. "I suppose the same could be said for you." As his tail became more and more spiked with his efforts, he began to reverse engineer the method, smoothing every hair meticulously into place and grooming more urgently where there was any misalignment. As he lapped, he couldn't help but ponder if this counted as drinking from the pond, an idea that both terrified him and filled him with a simultaneous, maniacal humor about it all. Because of course, after moons of dodging prayer, he would be forced into contact with the ancestors he avoided like greencough. Forced to endure their attempts on his life, to clean their influence from his pelt, to let Daisyfire do the same in spite of her own misgivings. What a cruel twist of fate that Starclan might pursue them so desperately. Two sinners of different origin.
And to think, after facing such obvious backlash, that Daisyfire would continue to dig his own grave with such eagerness. Making such upfront, emotional proclamations as if they wouldn't have consequences... It'd be easy to point out all the reasons she was making a fool of herself, to remind her that the only reason he'd let her help was so he wouldn't blow his own cover, being equally as incriminated as her for being out here together. Bearing the marks of his claws wouldn't make Sunclan any less attentive to the little detail that he'd been out alone, at the Moonpond. But he already knew, from that horrible earnestness with which she continued to bear her heart to him, that nothing he could say would move him. It didn't stop him summarizing it in the shortest breath he could, though. Working, through any means he could, to save her from her own ignorance. "You shouldn't have helped me at all. I provoked your attack and was perfectly prepared to handle the consequences. I merely accepted an opportunity to alleviate my own troubles. Your own motivations continue to mystify me, but I'm not one to pry where it doesn't suit me. Should I consider myself in your favor?" Turtlefang lifted his nose from his tail, considered the other warrior and his wavy pelt, groomed after the river but still slightly ruffled after their short-lived scuffle. "Would..."
A beat of silence, where he came face to face with his instinctive offer and trailed into immediate retraction, like it'd stolen the breath from him where it'd died in his throat. With a new urgency, he began drying the edge of his flanks in sharp, flaring strokes, feeling his own ears warm slightly when his gaze skimmed Daisyfire's paws just across from where he sat. Reminding him that she was still directly beside him, close enough to look too hard and make judgements from what he observed. Things had been so much easier with a river between them.
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MoonClan
The thing no one tells you about being dead is that it’s boring
Posts: 114
Pronouns: She/He
Played By: VioCrow
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Post by Daisyfire on Jul 20, 2022 0:35:48 GMT -6
*＊✿❀ Daisyfire ❀✿＊* She’d rolled her eyes as he spoke of how she shouldn’t have helped, readying her retort for when he stopped speaking - then he’d said that one word. That one word, paired with that gaze and the sudden urgency of grooming - it made her ears burn more and something in her chest flutter. What? Made her think of butterflies. Would be kind of gross for them to flutter in there. She cast her eyes aside, slowly returning them to Turtlefang. “… I wasn’t worried you’d get scared off, you should know. I thought you’d get mad. Of the many things I’ve thought of you, I’ve never thought you were a coward. You always made sure to let me know that that wasn’t the case.” Her pelt rippled uncomfortably with those words. Did the river make her sick? Was that the effect of her actions in the Moonpond? StarClan… never easy to please. “You’re not- you don’t owe me anything. If you decide to return the favor anyway, that’s up to you - but I’m not demanding anything of you.” He tapped his tail against the stone ground as he thought, uncomfortable with the emotions that had plagued him ever since Turtlefang had shown his passion for plans. Maybe before then. More uncomfortable with the words that piled at the back of her throat. “You might not believe me, what with the way this all started, but I don’t want the Clans to merge. MoonClan has been my home for so many moons, and to just… throw away the culture that I worked so hard for? That sounds impossible. But… I don’t think that means that… whatever this is… is wrong, either. Why have shared, neutral ground at all if we don’t use it to get to know the cats across the river? This place, this moment- they can’t be against the Code. They can’t stop my love for MoonClan, or- or how happy you made me when I got to listen to you strategize. I know that.”Her eyes darted back away, burning a hole into the Moonpond - if that were possible - with a stare hardened by embarrassment. Was that the emotion? Probably. Why else would it be so feverish under her pelt? She traced shapes into the stone, fidgeting as she tried to find something to do with herself, something to say that wasn’t so… that. “… do you want me to help you dry off more?” |
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SunClan
don't call me nice; i'm gonna eat your heart out
Posts: 150
Pronouns: he/him
Played By: rubykh
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Post by Turtlefang on Jul 20, 2022 1:49:07 GMT -6
As he listened to his speech, terribly disconcerting in the compromises she was willing to make for emotional bias alone, Turtlefang had stopped tending to himself. Didn't need to, when Daisyfire's words were enough of an irritant to chase away any thoughts of prolonging contact out of his head. Why consider that, anyway? And yet, it was an impersonal anger- Something broader than just the idiot he was sharing a space with for the time being, full of hopeless dreams and impossible negotiations. Was Moonclan just that lax with reminding their warriors of their loyalties? Especially as the other's eyes crept away from him, strangely avoidant all of a sudden, he had no problem staring her down like a puzzle. You're strange, he wanted to say. You're strange and it's a risk to you.He didn't say it. Instead, he started to shake his head before remembering the distracted offset of Daisyfire's gaze. Anxious about something, somehow. Maybe not as oblivious as he took her for, to be pawing around as if grasping for an out. Turtlefang provided it. "No, it's alright. You've done enough work on your own." While he'd lain there receiving the treatment, his underbelly had plenty of time to drain, and that much could be dealt with on his own time. Somehow, listening to him talk about rights and wrongs, the tortie had come to the increasingly conclusive belief that things were going, had gone, had been going, too far. Why am I here. No matter what she'd tried to rationalize about neutral ground, about balancing clan loyalties with meetings like this, it wasn't true. There was no balance to be had. You couldn't talk about being against a merge and then try to reconcile getting to know other clan cats by the Moonpond. If it was really okay to do, there wouldn't need to be a neutral space at all- there wouldn't even be a border. The existence of neutrality permits the simultaneous existence of conflict. Conflict between you and me, and everyone else.
But what could he say? What could he say to someone who spoke so readily, who couldn't even make eye contact with her truths laid out on the table? He could never be someone like that. He didn't even know his own heart, outside of what he was told to be. Outside of what Daisyfire was supposed to be, too, but seemed content to dig his paws in and play by his own poisonous rules. And for what? Because I make you happy? You don't know me. You'll never even get the chance to. Turtlefang turned his head away, back to facing where he didn't have to see that nervous, unassuming little performance. It stung in a different way. "Your logic doesn't make sense. We both know you'll have to forget you ever saw me here, by the time you return."
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MoonClan
The thing no one tells you about being dead is that it’s boring
Posts: 114
Pronouns: She/He
Played By: VioCrow
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Post by Daisyfire on Jul 20, 2022 3:42:37 GMT -6
*＊✿❀ Daisyfire ❀✿＊* She scoffed, aiming for amusement and ending up with a wry, sad version of the sound. Yikes. “You wish.” The tone of that scoff held firmly in her voice, all the more frustrating. He laid down, making herself a tight little ball. “Yeah, I thought you’d say something like that. It’s funny, in some ways you’ve already become so predictable. That’s what shells are for though, huh Turtle?”The tightness of her body’s coil was a substitute for the comfort of another cat. Why, though, she could not figure out. Turtlefang was right, in a sense. That was how it should be. Even to Daisyfire, the logic he’d laid out before the SunClan cat didn’t make a lot of sense. It was like her heart was torn unevenly, and the only reconciliation she could find was to force the pieces together in odd angles, leaving it looking like a mangled version of its former self. That was kind of sad, wasn’t it? A weirdly miserable little way to feel over a cat like Turtlefang. Yeah… Turtlefang… “Sorry, Turtlefang,” he finally corrected, his mulling having reminded him that nicknames weren’t appropriate here. A shell and fangs…? Truly, that was a cat that wanted the entire world out of his business. Who was she to disturb that? Half a MoonClan cat - not even able to fully dedicate herself to ideals she held just this morning. That was its own sort of sick feeling twisting around her stomach. She’d taught herself those lessons so thoroughly as an apprentice, and yet, her heart had always dominated her mind. How was it that she ended up so conflicted? His violet eyes caught the gleam of the Moonpond’s rippling waters. Her ears perked. Turtlefang had begun seeing much more clearly after his little impromptu swim, hadn’t he? Maybe that was all it took. She uncurled, a moment of pain relief from the compression and release of pressure occurring, and approached the pond. Gently, she dipped traitorous toes that had previously been so free to make an enemy of the water, as if testing it. Whatever she’d been worried about, it was fine. She entered the pond effortlessly, taking a dive for a brief moment so that her entire form would soak up the water, and then she floated. Simply, serenely - patiently. Until StarClan’s fancy mirror washed away those treasonous thoughts and made her herself again. Until Turtlefang could have fun with her again. |
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SunClan
don't call me nice; i'm gonna eat your heart out
Posts: 150
Pronouns: he/him
Played By: rubykh
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Post by Turtlefang on Jul 20, 2022 14:17:23 GMT -6
It's funny. After going so long hearing him say that name over and over again, hearing the transition between jab and sincerity, it'd begun to feel normal. So much so that even once the gig was up, he hadn't bothered to correct it. It was only after Daisyfire spoke his full name, like a courtesy, that Turtlefang felt the absence of... whatever Turtle had begun to encompass. It shouldn't have mattered. He'd worked himself to the bone for his warriors name, it was one of his proudest achievements. Better than facing quips and giggles about his prefix like all young cats were prone to do. So why was it that when he was given the respect he deserved, heard his name in full, it felt so empty? Why did he care about the whims of a Moonclan cat measuring just how far apart to hold him? It was nothing more than his true name. And wasn't it awkward, to be nicknamed in a way he'd never been since the incident.
He hated being called that. He hated the stupid jokes about his shell. He hated being nudged around, beckoned to unfurl, treated like a baby who couldn't bite back.
But that wasn't what it'd felt like, for once. Even as the fight in him rose at his so called predictability. It was like a scratch over the nose, begging to be proven wrong.
"You don't-" have to call me that, Turtlefang began, only half through rationalizing how to play it off before the sound of a soft splash interrupted him. Questioningly, he turned to see what was going on, only to see a tricolor head disappear beneath the mirror surface of the Moonpond. It was instinct; He all but pounced to the rim of the pool, scratches aching in protest with the rapid-fire response, yet long forgotten. Hunched by the waterside, he watched with wide eyes until she'd begun bobbing along at the surface, like there was nothing wrong with swimming around in Starclan's perfect little puddle. "Hey!"
It was good he'd only entered the water intentionally; Turtlefang didn't know the first thing about swimming outside of improv, much less having to bear the weight of another cat the whole time. And yet, it was almost made all the worse knowing it was a purposeful transgression. With his pelt dried to near completion, his hackles rose without issue, a prickled forest of black needles while he watched Daisyfire's sacrilege. Hissing softly, he swatted a paw over the water towards her, batting at the air above two floppy ears. "You shouldn't be in there! Do you want to be cursed or something? Get back here." Then, more anxiously, he looked around them as if expecting to see a ghost appear at any moment to come grab the offending warrior themselves. Half unwittingly, he readied his stance to fight should that be the case, teal eyes darting back to her with wavering confidence. "Falling in was bad enough, you're going to make it worse. I'll help you out."
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